My Resolution: The Heart of God.

"If you are controlling your life and spending it on yourself, even partly, you are abusing it and taking it away from God's original purpose. Learn from Christ that the beauty and purpose of having life is so that you can surrender it to God and then allow Him to fill it with His glory."

Andrew Murray

Last night I was spending some time with the Lord and He laid the idea of resolutions on my heart. I'm not really a new year's resolution kind of girl, in fact I'm pretty sure this year was the first time I have ever bothered to make one. I think making resolutions usually sets you up for disappointment; I think it might be contrary to our nature to hold to plans to change ourselves with so little accountability. I guess that's where God comes in.

Anyway, God didn't lead me to this thought to encourage some crazy diet fad or whatever other resolutions people are planning for 2011. It was more like I was encouraged to think about spending this year expectantly waiting on God. To resolutely seek God's heart and to truly surrender myself to Him. Not in a way that has to begin on January 1st and end on December 31st, but I do feel excited for a new year and a fresh start. I feel like I want this year to be a marker of deeper intimacy with God. It's not like I can plan for that, but I feel like God is leading me to expect it and to be excited for it.

Today I was thinking about what the Bible has to say about this and what our part is in it. The verse that came to mind is Luke 9:51 where it says: "As the time approached for him to be taken up to heaven, Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem." Jesus had a determination about him to do the will of God. He was always "about the Father's business". The depth of Jesus' surrender to the will of God is truly breathtaking.

I have been reading the book Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray, which the quote above came from. Today I read the chapter "That God May Be All in All". It was so amazing, I feel like I need to read it about four more times to get everything out of it. The chapter was about how Jesus' life was all about giving glory to God so that He may be all in all! He talks about how to live a life like that, and I was so encouraged by it. There is sooo much good stuff in that book so far, I would encourage you to read it in you haven't!

So I guess, in short, I want this year to be about God. Just like I wanted last year to be about God and the year before. Nothing new, but at the same time always surprising, growing, changing and amazing me. I don't want to "do my best" for God, I want to give God everything and let Him do whatever He wants with it. I want to seek God's heart with determination, like Jesus did. I want to live my life "that God may be all in all". I guess I just want focus. No distractions, just Jesus, because nothing else compares.

I love this song by Misty Edwards, it led me to this rabbit trail of thoughts. I think it has something to do with the fact that she says "yester-year" haha. :)

Be Generous.

Okay, so I have been horrible at keeping up with this blog recently! What have I been up to? Just crazy busy trying to keep up with school and work and everything else that makes up the life of a student! I have great news to share though, I have finished reading the Old Testament! I am just looooving this year through the Bible thing and I'm eating up every word! Not to say that I've been super faithful the whole time so far, but I'm trying and God is definitely blessing the effort!

So I started reading the Gospels this week and God had a great reminder ready for me. Here's the verse:

"If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." Matthew 5:41-42

God has been impressing on me the idea of generosity. Not just generosity with finances, but the idea of having generosity become a part of my character, an overflow from my heart. Generosity is something that Jesus commands of us. It is an expression of our love. There are so many ways we can be genuinely generous. Like extending a hand of friendship to someone. Anyone and everyone. Being generous with our time and love towards people. I think it is easy to become unknowingly stingy in this. It's easy to say we don't have the time or the resources to reach out to someone or to walk in something that God is calling us to. I guess I just wanted to encourage you readers to go the extra mile. Jesus did promise us that we would be generously given to, as we generously give.

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over , will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:38

Let's not be stingy! Lets love and give as Jesus loved and gave his life for us! I needed this reminder so much, praise the Lord for His faithfulness in teaching and correcting us, I just want to be more like him! :)

Perfection.

Today I was thinking, as I often do, about the things that I want out of life, what I want from God, the things that I think would make my life perfect.

God has been teaching me a thing or two about my ideas of perfection. One thing He is teaching me is that my ideas of perfection are not constant, they are subject to change. God's plans are so definite. I can sometimes get frustrated with God for not having all the things that I want right now, but an instant later I have changed my plan or my picture goes from being perfect to being scary and too set in stone.

In my Bible study a few days ago I read about God's tasks for us versus his calling over our lives. I found such encouragement in her words about what it means to follow God daily:

"In our human need for security and sameness, we tend to want one job assignment from God that we can do for the rest of our lives. He's far more creative than that!"

I think it would be scarier for me to find my perfect plan and stick to it, than to live life step by step, day by day with the Lord. God doesn't do things the way we would do them because he thinks bigger and he sees such a broader picture. (Isaiah 55:8-9) He also does everything out of love.

Another thing God challenged me to think about is why perfection to me is attached to so many titles: wife, mother, insert job title here... :) I've been thinking, Does having my hands full make me more me?

Here is what I read yesterday:
" Does it make you a king to have more and more cedar? Did not your father have food and drink? He did what was right and just, so all went well with him. He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?"
Jeremiah 22: 15-16

God wants us to live surrendered to him, not bound to our perfect plans. I don't believe that wanting those things is wrong, but I think I tend to feel the most weary when I live life waiting on things or titles rather than waiting on God. And do you want to know what the most perfect part of this lesson is? The result of God teaching me this has been him bringing me into a really satisfied place. And that feels like perfection.

Freedom.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

Isaiah 43:18-19

For the past few weeks I've been going through a Beth Moore study called "Jesus the One and Only" at my church and it worked out just perfectly that I am in Isaiah for my regular reading. It has been so amazing reading about God's promise and then seeing so clearly the fulfillment of that promise through Jesus.

This week God has been showing me something that I tend to take for granted; the blessing of living under his new covenant! In Isaiah God tells us that he is bringing this new covenant for two reasons; to bring glory to his name, and because of his great love for us! I don't think God's love for me has ever been so evident, so perfectly clear, as in this book of the Bible. Needless to say I think it is my favorite.

I think one reason why it's my favorite so far is because throughout the Old Testament I've read about God's promise to Israel and his love for them. I've been reading about this chosen people and I think I felt a little bit like an outsider. In Isaiah God extends his promise to all people! You can't even imagine the joy that sprang up in me when I read:

"It is too small a thing for you to be my servant to restore the tribes of Jacob and bring back those of Israel I have kept. I will also make you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth."

Isaiah 49:6

But that isn't all. God didn't just remind me how amazing it is to be included, he also reminded me how exciting it is to be free! Yesterday in my study I read about when Jesus talked about John, he said "I tell you, among those born of women there is no one greater than John; yet the one who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he." (Luke 7:28) Jesus was saying that those of us who are blessed enough to live on this side of Calvary are even greater than the voice in the desert calling "prepare the way for the Lord!" John didn't get to live in the freedom of the new covenant. That's how amazing it is to live as a testimony to God's promise. To be free!

I wish I could put words to my joy, my gratitude to God for his goodness. There are loads of verses I wish I could share but you'll just have to read for yourself and I'm sure he'll show you how much he loves you! I am going to share a song though, not only because I have been slightly obsessed with Kim Walker lately, but because this song brings me so much joy! (As most of her songs do). I can't help but celebrate when she sings "We are a chosen generation, a generation that's free!" Something about it, I just can't hold it in... I must dance! :)

If You Say Go.

Wow. It's been forever since I've blogged. I wish I could say I've been doing crazy fun summer things and that's why I haven't been posting anything, but it just isn't true! I've definitely been enjoying my time off from classes and homework though.

Anyway, this summer I've been thinking a lot about the future, which is totally fitting since I'm about to start my last year of college. I've been getting really excited just thinking about all of the possibilities that are out there, but it's also a little intimidating not knowing what you want to do! I think this year is going to call for a lot of prayer and waiting to hear what God has, but I am so excited about it! I heard a song the other day and I absolutely loved it because I think it's just really fitting for where I'm at, so I thought I'd share it!

It's called If You Say Go by Rita Springer!

If You say go, we will go

If You say wait, we will wait

If You say step out on the water

And they say it can't be done

We'll fix our eyes on You and we will come

Your ways are higher than our ways

And the plans that You have laid

Are good and true

If You call us to the fire

You will not withdraw Your hand

We'll gaze into the flames and look for You

Right now I don't know if God is calling me to go or to wait, I have no idea what I'm going to end up doing but I'm so thankful that he's a big God and that he loves me! I'm also glad I still have some summer left to enjoy and a whole year to figure all of this out! Sometimes I jump ahead of myself!

Here is a verse I read the other day that I'm sure I'll be thinking about a lot this year:

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3

Ask.

Today is such a beautiful day! This whole weekend, in fact, has been just perfect weather! What a great weekend to begin summer break with! I just got back from the park where I finished up my book, The Weight of Glory, and let me just say... it was such a great book! The first and last chapters were definitely my favorites! Now I need a new book to read... so leave me some suggestions if you have some! :)

I've also been continuing on in my read through the Bible in a year plan! I read Esther this morning! The main thing I feel like God showed me in the story of Esther was not only her boldness in going before the king, but the king's response to her. Even though Esther was afraid to even go before the king, he took great delight in her, and wanted to give her whatever she asked for. I feel like God has been teaching me a lot about prayer these days and showing me that we, myself included, can be really hesitant in our prayers.

When I was going through Nehemiah I listened to a couple of podcasts from when John Mark went through Nehemiah at The Way. His message about Nehemiah 2 was really good and taught me a lot! He said that one thing that is really impactful and that a lot of Christians don't know or think about is the fact that our prayers can change God's mind about things. I had been talking with my friend Eva a while back about that subject and we were never really sure how that worked or if it were even true, but it seems so in line with God's fatherly heart that it would be true. Anyway, God has been putting it on my heart to ask for bigger things from Him! Like healing for people, or salvation, or the church's vision of a "summer harvest"!

If King Xerxes took delight in giving Esther the things she asked for, how much more would our King, the God of love, delight in pouring out blessings on us! It can be scary asking God for big things though. Big things can mean that we have to "go out on a limb" we might have to do something that makes us feel uncomfortable.

But in the story Mordecai warns Esther:

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" (4:14)

I love that God doesn't need to use us. He wants to. We just need to open our mouths and ask in faith. God didn't need Esther to save the Jews, but He chose her and blessed her because of it. James 4:2 says that we "have not, because we ask not". I don't want to be guilty of expecting too little from God, or assuming that relief will come from another place and just sitting back and letting others work for the harvest. Jesus said "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

In the last chapter of my book, called "A Slip of the Tongue", C.S. Lewis talks about this same kind of caution, he says that we have a tendency to search for the bare minimum to give and dread when that price may rise. He quoted "Have we never risen from our knees in haste for fear God's will should become too unmistakable if we prayed longer?"

There comes a point in the story of Esther that she crosses the line, completely sold out to the will of God, even to the point of risking death. She said, quite dramatically, "I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish." That's some pretty insane faith! I pray that God will grow in me boldness like that!

I'm really excited to see what God does this summer in Corvallis. And I want to be a part of it. I think the vision of a summer harvest is right on and I can't wait to see how God will move. Now let's pray in faith for it!

Hit the Books.

Lets start finals week off right. With music! Here are a few songs to help you get your study groove on....





These aren't new songs just some that I've been loving during my many less than productive study sessions.

Hang in there, we're almost done! And then.... SUMMER!! :)

First Fruits.

"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."

Psalm 5:3

I've always liked the idea of giving the Lord the first fruits of my morning. I read verses like this one and feel so inspired to wake up and be refreshed by God. Instead though, I usually give the Lord the end of my day as I'm about to fall asleep and have a thousand thoughts buzzing around my head. On Sunday night I felt the Lord leading me to start my mornings out right, seeking Him!

It's been SO good! This week I have gotten up just a little bit earlier and had my devotional time before work and school and I've found that I have so much more focus in the morning! God blesses our obedience to Him, and He so desires to meet with us and fill us each morning!

God has definitely met with me through the week and has been teaching me a lot about pride. He's been showing me the different forms pride can take and also teaching me about prayer. I listened to a Matt Chandler message the other day and he was talking about how our prayers need to be "theocentric" or God centered. I've been thinking about that as I've read some of the prayers in the old testament. Prayers are so beautiful when they are centered around the glory of God! There are so many times in the Bible when it says the people humbled themselves, and then God responds.

Proverbs 3:34 says:

"He mocks proud mockers but gives grace to the humble."

I can definitely see that confirmed throughout the Bible and in my own life. God has been showing me that pride is more than just conceit. Pride can be connected to fear as well. Julia said something that fits this perfectly at small group this week. She quoted C.S. Lewis: "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." I'm totally convicted about that. I think about myself a lot!

Sometimes I press in for wisdom from God and start out with good intentions, only to realize that I'm asking Him so persistently for selfish reasons. Sometimes I want answers so that I can protect my pride, or feel secure. That's not very "theocentric". In fact, it's very selfish.

Thankfully God is gracious. That's the best part of this lesson, God "gives grace to the humble". As He continues to teach me humility, I grow closer to Him and learn more about how to walk with Him. It's definitely a process. I think there is also a lot of freedom with selflessness. I'm not there, but I'm looking forward to learning more about how to walk in the freedom of humility!

This kind of sounds like two blog topics but I think they are kind of interconnected. By giving God the first fruits of my day He has totally blessed my week and a big part of giving Him my mornings has been coming to Him in humility and really desiring to know Him more, and not being self centered about seeking Him. I think I'm going to try and keep up with my morning devotionals and make it a regular habit!

I just have one more verse to share with you all. Micah 6:8 is one that I just love:

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

And of course I have to share a song with you all :)

I heard this one on the radio yesterday morning and was blessed by it!

Wake Up Call.

This morning the Lord woke me up at 3:30. At least I hope it was the Lord, because I certainly didn't want to be awake! I woke up with a verse ringing through my head:

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."

James 1:5

I think God put this verse on my heart because I went to bed last night feeling anxious. God woke me up because He wanted me to talk to Him about it and seek His counsel! I don't know that I was very obedient though, I said a quick prayer and rolled over and went back to sleep. Yesterday in church Pastor Rob talked about how God knows our thoughts and how that can lead to a lifestyle of communion with God. I feel like that's something God has definitely been growing in me, but sometimes I still fall short. Today I woke up and honestly had a pretty bad attitude which probably could have been avoided if I had responded to God by listening last night rather than ignoring His call!

Philippians 4:6 says:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

That verse reminds me what it should look like to live a lifestyle of communion with God. I need to be lifting my heart up to Him and waiting expectantly. God said that He would give me wisdom generously and without finding fault. That sounds like a pretty solid promise. I think one reason I didn't take the time to wait on God last night is because I doubted I would hear an answer. The end of that verse God put on my heart says:

"But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."

James 1:6-8

At the Shasta retreat last weekend my friend Anna and I had a pretty good conversation about worries, we were mulling over the question: "is it a sin to worry?" The conclusion we came to is yes. God tells us not to worry and to cast all our cares on Him! To be anxious about anything that you have put in God's hands is like doubting that God has it under control. It's wrong. The God I serve keeps all of His promises. He has infinite wisdom. And even when He knows I'm going to roll over and ignore Him, He still wakes me up... just to talk. :)

I have never considered myself to be a MercyMe fan... until now. I really like the new album. Here's one of my favorites:

The Weight of Glory.

Today I read The Weight of Glory by C.S. Lewis. It was so good! I thought I would recommend it to all of you to read! It was full of stuff I feel like God has been showing me lately but worded SO perfectly. C.S. Lewis is an amazing author!

In this essay Lewis talks about why it is okay for us as Christians to long for the reward of heaven. He says we all long for heaven and fill that place with other things, but they at best can only hint at what we really want, what will really satisfy us.

Here is a quote that I loved:

"These things- the beauty, the memory of our own past- are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself, they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited."

He also explains what it means to have "glory" in heaven and the weight that carries even in our day to day life. It affects how we interact with others and encourages us to love our neighbor with a genuine Christlike love. Lewis says that "Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses." That is so powerful!

Anyway, I did a poor job summarizing this but I would encourage you to read it if you haven't! I definitely enjoyed it! :) I'm looking forward to reading his other chapters in the book!

Love Songs.

"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17

Yesterday afternoon I was driving home from a retreat at Shasta Lake and my friend Julia said something that made me think. We were all singing random songs and she said "it's funny how many songs are about love. People are fascinated by it." It's something I had kind of been thinking about recently, and even started blogging about, but got side tracked and never did.

God designed us in such a way that we are drawn to the idea of romance. Practically every song on the radio sings it's praises. Our God is so creative, I wonder how he ever thought of the idea? 1 John 4:8 says that "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." I guess God didn't have to invent love because it was in his very nature. God is the original romantic! The Bible also tells us that we are created in the image of God so it makes sense that we are fascinated by love.

Ebo Elder, the speaker this weekend, talked about a "God shaped hole" that all human beings have and the mistake we all make trying to fill it with things that aren't God. I think love is something that easily and frequently becomes an idol to people, it definitely does for me. It was wonderful this weekend having God remind me, yet again, that his design for love is perfect.

I love how Zephaniah 3:17 says that God quiets us with his love. So true. It's really humbling to have God remind you that you don't know best. Yet he still loves. It absolutely amazes me that God, being the perfect picture of true love, would be so delighted in me! There is a worship song that I really love by Sarah Edwards that says that God is "ravished by my heart". God is ravished by me? That seems so unreal. He has written us the most beautiful love story and he sings over us the sweetest songs.

I could search the earth high and low for the sweetest love song and none could beat this:

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

1 John 4:10

God delights in me. He rejoices over me! He pursues us with the most passionate, jealous love. It is an incomparable perfect love! This weekend God humbled me once again and taught me to surrender to his perfect love and wisdom. I'd say that's a pretty wonderful weekend!

Here are some beautiful love songs for you all to enjoy! The first two are by one of my favorite love song singers, Jason Reeves. He sings adorable songs haha. The rest are worship songs that I absolutely love! A few love songs to our wonderful savior!

Be Still.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Selah.

Psalm 46:10-11

This weekend my small group was able to get a way and spend some time with the Lord and with each other at the coast. This was our second beach trip as a small group and, just like the first trip, it was totally blessed and so much fun!

The first night was awesome! We all had dinner together, had some time of worship, sat in the hot tub in the rain, and then ran down to the ocean! Eva brought all her instruments with so we were jamming all weekend with the shaker, drum, tambourine, and guitar. I'm sure it looked hilarious, but it was so good!

On Saturday morning we set aside a couple of hours to be alone with the Lord. We called it "be still time". It was probably my favorite time of the weekend! We were purposeful about not talking to each other or even being near each other during this time because we wanted to hear from God and spend some quality time with him. I spent my time praying, reading, and then sitting on the beach and admiring God's awesome creation!

It was so refreshing! God used that time to remind me of the many facets of his personality. One passage that stood out to me in my reading time was 1 Kings 19:11-12. God told Elijah to go stand on a mountain and wait for the presence of the Lord to pass by. It says:

"Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."

He showed me that he is both awesome, mighty, and powerful and gentle, loving, and kind. He commands the winds and the waves and provides food for the birds of the air! He is amazing. God could have chosen to show himself to Elijah in a super showy way. He could have called down thunder and lightening and really made it a big deal. He didn't need to though. He knew just how Elijah needed to be spoken to. He is so understanding, and the way he chooses to speak to us shows so much about who God is. He is first and foremost loving!

God used all of this to grow me in the area of trust. Trust is one of those areas that we are constantly needing to grow in. I need God to show me how to trust him daily. I learn how to trust him by being reminded of who he is. His understanding combined with his awesome love for me show me that I can trust him.

Later on Saturday we brought the instruments down to the beach and sat on the rocks and worshiped. At first it was a little awkward and funny. In fact while we were still trying to get the songs started, sounding super off key and off beat, an old lady walked by us and Julia and I just started cracking up! I don't think God was disrespected by it though... I bet he was laughing too. In the end the worship time was totally awesome! There is something powerful about worshiping the creator in front of his creation! I took the photo above during the worship time... isn't it beautiful? It reminds me of heaven.

We also shared with each other what God has done in us through our small group over the two years we've been meeting. We called them "glory lists" (Tera and Julia are so creative) because they are the things we are giving God all the glory for! It was awesome and I'm so encouraged!

This weekend was wonderful! I'm blessed, refreshed, and encouraged!

Restless Soul.

The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life.

Revelation 22:17

Today definitely feels like a Monday. On days like today I'm reminded that I was created for something bigger than this life. It's not a bad feeling to have though because it is truth! In Philippians Paul calls us citizens of heaven.

Recently God has been growing in me a longing for heavenly things. I feel restless. The restlessness of desires this world can't fill, and a longing to see my savior, the satisfaction of it all.

Brooke Fraser's "C.S. Lewis Song" starts by saying "If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was not made for here". That totally resonates with me. God has been showing me that I could have the greatest riches this world has to offer, but none of it would fill that special place in my soul that was meant to rest in Him.

I also know that we won't know full rest or peace until He returns. Romans says that "the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time" and it also says that "we ourselves groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons". I think this place of longing for God is totally blessed though. David expressed it beautifully saying, "Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me." How beautiful will it be when all of creation's longings are fulfilled! When we experience the satisfaction of our deepest desires!

The most wonderful part about all of this is that I have so much hope. Feeling restless doesn't have to mean feeling despair or lost. Because of Jesus this feeling is more like excitement! Excitement for things to come, and a longing for a clearer view of my creator, God.

He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.

Revelation 22:20

I've been really enjoying posting songs that I like lately, so here is one that I have been loving! I recently added Bethany Dillon's newest album Stop and Listen to my music library and have been listening to it over and over for the past couple of days! This might be my favorite on the album it's called "Get up and walk".

Captivated.

The word captivate is defined as: to attract and hold the attention or interest of, as by beauty or excellence; enchant. I love that!

I've been feeling a lot of joy lately! It could be the sun coming out of the clouds again, but I think it's more than that. I've been enjoying God lately. I feel like that definition is just the perfect representation of where I am with God right now. Captivated. It's so beautiful!

Why then, is it so easy to let distraction; that sneaky enemy of mine, creep right into my thoughts? Sometimes the smallest moments of distraction can leave me feeling frustrated and defeated. I end up feeling as though I've forgotten to fear God. After all, how could anything captivate my heart in place of Him?

The Bible tells us to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5). Easier said than done right? Well, a comforting thought is that we have a sympathetic savior who looks at our hearts and knows exactly what we need, even when we don't! I don't ever want to feel like God has to compete for my attention, but I also know that we can't muster up any devotion, it has to come from God. So what do I do when I'm faced with these annoying moments? I pray! And I'm so glad that when I don't have words to pray, God gives them to me! What a faithful God I serve.

Now, I can't say that I've got this "taking every thought captive" thing in the bag, but I can say that God is teaching me how to bring any distractions, worries, or cares to Him. He sees my heart. He knows what I need. He even gives me words to pray. And, finally, he gives me peace. (And joy!) :)


I don't know if you followers like hymns, but I discovered this beautiful one yesterday via my Pandora mix at work! Enjoy! :)
All The Way My Saviour Leads Me by: Chris Tomlin

Beyond Comprehension.

"Then Manoah inquired of the angel of the Lord, 'What is your name, so that we may honor you when your word comes true?' He replied, 'Why do you ask my name? It is beyond understanding.' "

Judges 13: 17-18

I read this passage a while ago, like maybe last week, and when I read it I just had to stop. It was one of those moments when you need to take a second to let it soak in and really think about it. Anyway, yesterday Eva and I were driving home from Eugene and in the car we were listening to some Matt Chandler sermons and it just brought me back to that verse. In the message Matt was talking about the characteristics of who God is. He said that we will often be breathless at the view of the Grand Canyon, but we don't revere the one who created it. He went on to talk about God's glory and beauty. He called God "stunning" and that everything we see here on earth that takes our breath away or brings us to our knees in awe is just one glimpse of one aspect of the original beauty that is God.
Wow. We serve an amazing God.
He also talked about how our language can't extend as far as to describe who God is or how awesome he is.
I love that in this verse we can also translate "beyond understanding" as "It is too wonderful". God is just so beyond anything that we can wrap our minds around. It amazes me.
Just some thoughts I had to share! Heres the link to the sermons if anyone wants to listen! I can't remember the title though!

Also to end here's a song I'm loving lately! (Also thanks to Eva! She is just so influential in my life haha)
"Shadowfeet" By Brooke Fraser

The Best.

I am so happy to have an amazing, fun friend like this.
My roomie Karissa Holmes and I have been BEST friends since the 7th grade.
I absolutely love her!
We met in Mr. Nakashima's science class and have some pretty hilarious memories together.

Apparently we haven't changed much over the years...

Senior Year

My Finals Week Wisdom.

I've been having trouble thinking of things to blog about lately, but I don't want to disappoint my faithful two followers so I think I'll give it a shot now.

The last couple of weeks I've been having a kind of 'mid-college crisis' which is not good, mostly because I am pretty far past that halfway point and it's time to get serious and just get done. I think I have been feeling a little overwhelmed by papers and normal stresses of college life and that has resulted in me feeling kind of uncertain about what I'm majoring in and what my future might look like. I think I have a bad attitude about it all too, I feel like what I'm studying isn't necessarily what I'm passionate about. Then again, I think no matter what I study and what I do I won't feel passionate about it because a career isn't my end all. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to work in my industry someday and hopefully I will enjoy what I do, but I don't think the result of that will be my fulfillment.

Well, you are probably thinking that is obvious.... we don't get fulfillment from careers, but only from the Lord. Still, I think that God is wanting us to, in everything we do, have diligence. In Colossians 3:23 God tells us that "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men."

I think I have trouble with that idea. But also, I think that God honors the efforts we put into those things. My friend Anna helped me see that; diligence in one area of our lives can result in diligence in other areas. It's one tool that God can use to grow us. My problem is that I want God to give me the desires of my heart, like a husband someday and a family, but I don't want to first be diligent and steadfast with the things he has trusted me with. I don't feel passionate right now about my career path, but I do feel passionate about my future family. It's not that I need a degree to be a blessing to my future family, but the tools that pour out of that, like discipline, really will be a blessing. Sometimes I'm so focused on the things God isn't giving me, that I ignore and neglect the things he's blessed me with. Going to school is such a blessing, one that a ton of people don't get the chance to experience. I need to be thanking the Lord for that blessing and really giving it my all.

The past couple of days I've been wanting God to show me things in myself he wants to change, to discipline me. I think he has shown me this one, so now I just need to be faithful with that and get some studying done! :)

My Girls.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
Proverbs 27:17

God has blessed me so much. Sometimes I take for granted some of the amazing ways he has answered my prayers in the past. One clear answer to prayer happened last year and it came in such a beautiful form!

Friendship. It is so vital! I started going to one of the church college groups at OSU last year, and for some time I was going by myself! I prayed and prayed about finding a way to plug myself into the group because I knew it was where I was supposed to be. Where God wanted me.

God didn't have me wait on this one. Sometimes you can pray and pray and it isn't the time to see your prayer fulfilled. This time God was faithful almost instantly. By such a random chance I got plugged into the most amazing small group and I have been seeing fruit from that answered prayer ever since. God was absolutely faithful and I can praise him everytime I see my beautiful friends.

Today I was at work and Eva came in to see me. It's just so funny to me that we've gotten so close that we can talk for two hours and not even notice the time go by (even though I'm at work... :) haha). I love that God has blessed me with such a strong group of girls to grow with. We talk about everything! God, boys, school, friends, money, the future... you name it. We have SO much fun too! We're always laughing.

After about 3 days if I haven't seen one of these girls, something is wrong! We're always together! We love each other and I am so blessed by our friendship. They're my girls! Tera, Julia, Alisha, Anna, and Eva.

-- In what beautiful ways has God answered your prayers? --

~ Sunny Days~

Tera: " This one is too scandelous for facebook... "

Come to the Table.

"No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

what God has prepared for those who love him."

1 Corinthians 2:9

At church on Sunday we talked about wisdom in Proverbs 9. I've been really loving this series on Proverbs, especially hearing about wisdom and understanding more what that really means and what an amazing gift it is. One thing that stood out to me was how wisdom is inviting us to come to her table and how that table is a parallel to the communion table. God has invited us to come recieve what he has prepared for us and that is just so beautiful! I love to think that at this beautiful table God has something special prepared for each of his dinner guests. We don't even realize before we know him that he has anything prepared for us, but he has something designed uniquely for you. I also think that God is longing for us to fill his table. When someone comes to Christ and takes their seat, the one that God took care into creating, he is filled with overwhelming joy! The thought that God has a seat at his table with my name on it makes me feel so honored, loved, and so excited to know him more and to walk in his wonderful wisdom!

This past week I've been feeling so content to abide in Christ. Sometimes I feel like I want to try and pursue gifts with my flesh, but God is continually showing me that what he has prepared for me is so rich and such a blessing. I enjoy these times with God so much because sometimes they can feel few and far between. I can feel inclined to serve God with a self-centered mindset. Like: "God I will serve you so that you will see that I am deserving of this gift from you." I just needed God to remind me that he already has prepared for me everything I need, I don't need to convince him to take care of me. He loves me. Before all of creation he had a seat at his table for me, what else do I need?

"His divine power has given us everything needed for life and
godliness,

through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and
goodness."

2 Peter 1:3

Fearlessly Fearing God

So this year I have made it my resolution to read through the bible in a year. It's kind of a daunting challenge and at times I feel afraid that I may be defeated by it, but overall it has been good and I think in the end it will be a huge blessing to have read the book cover to cover. At this point in my reading plan I am in the book of Numbers. Last night I read the coolest thing, so I just had to share!

In Numbers 22- 24 I read all about a king who was afraid of the Isrealites because he saw how great they were in number and how God was on their side. Since he was afraid he asked Balaam, a man he knew to be close to God, to curse the people so they wouldn't harm him or his city. Balaam told him that he would ask God, but that whatever God said was what he would do. I thought this was soooo bold, trusting, and just downright cool of him to do. A king asked him to do something and offered him a great reward and he said

"Even if Balak gave me his palace filled with silver and gold, I could not
do anything great or small to go beyond the command of the Lord my God."
22:18

The king asked him three times to curse these people. Each time Balaam asked God, he was told to bless the people, and was obedient! Balaam was a man who knew God. This is so apparent in this story. He knew God wasn't someone he could command to do his will. God is sovereign. One of the coolest things about this is that Balaam was totally unapologetic and unafraid of Balak. God is on the throne, he wasn't intimidated by an earthly king! This is an awesome picture of being completely sold out to Christ. Balaam feared God, not man, and this resulted in a totally free fearless way of life!

I think a lot of the time we can forget what it feels like to totally trust God. We expect to come before the king of kings and lay down the law. This is how it is, this is what I want... Ok God, fulfill it! We should, instead, come humbly, asking what God would have us do... then, even if God asks us to do the most unexpected thing, the exact opposite even of what we ask of Him, we should be willing to be obedient. Now that is true love! Besides, we can trust God, he is wise... and so good.

"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son or man, that he
should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and
not fulfill? I have recieved a command to bless; he has blessed, and I cannot change it."

Newbie.

So I'm pretty new to this whole blog thing, but I thought since I enjoy reading a few here and there I might also enjoy writing some! So maybe in this first post I will just tell you a little about myself! :)

• I am a student at Oregon State University and I am studying Merchandising Management!


• I'm from St.Helens... no not the mountain! But it's almost as exciting....



• I love to learn but I absolutely hate studying (hence why although I have a midterm tomorrow I am doing this... )



• I LOVE the color purple :)



• I was born in North Dakota and have lived in Washington, Idaho, and now have made my home in beautiful Oregon!



• I love to serve the Lord and pursue a deeper relationship with Him!


• I recently (like this last week) took up jogging even though I am SO not athletic! Wish me luck! ;)


• I may seem reserved when you first meet me, but don't let that fool you... I have an adventurous side too!


• In the past I've enjoyed playing violin and tennis.. now I'm blogging and jogging :) I guess you could say I'm always looking for my niche... I'll let you know when I find it.


• My friends and family mean everything to me, and I love to keep myself busy spending time with them!

Well... I think that's me in a nutshell. I'm sure this blog will often consist of my thoughts on what God is doing in my life, and what he is teaching me. I will try to think of some fun, creative things to blog about in the future... if you have any fun suggestions, please let me know!!