My Finals Week Wisdom.

I've been having trouble thinking of things to blog about lately, but I don't want to disappoint my faithful two followers so I think I'll give it a shot now.

The last couple of weeks I've been having a kind of 'mid-college crisis' which is not good, mostly because I am pretty far past that halfway point and it's time to get serious and just get done. I think I have been feeling a little overwhelmed by papers and normal stresses of college life and that has resulted in me feeling kind of uncertain about what I'm majoring in and what my future might look like. I think I have a bad attitude about it all too, I feel like what I'm studying isn't necessarily what I'm passionate about. Then again, I think no matter what I study and what I do I won't feel passionate about it because a career isn't my end all. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to work in my industry someday and hopefully I will enjoy what I do, but I don't think the result of that will be my fulfillment.

Well, you are probably thinking that is obvious.... we don't get fulfillment from careers, but only from the Lord. Still, I think that God is wanting us to, in everything we do, have diligence. In Colossians 3:23 God tells us that "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not men."

I think I have trouble with that idea. But also, I think that God honors the efforts we put into those things. My friend Anna helped me see that; diligence in one area of our lives can result in diligence in other areas. It's one tool that God can use to grow us. My problem is that I want God to give me the desires of my heart, like a husband someday and a family, but I don't want to first be diligent and steadfast with the things he has trusted me with. I don't feel passionate right now about my career path, but I do feel passionate about my future family. It's not that I need a degree to be a blessing to my future family, but the tools that pour out of that, like discipline, really will be a blessing. Sometimes I'm so focused on the things God isn't giving me, that I ignore and neglect the things he's blessed me with. Going to school is such a blessing, one that a ton of people don't get the chance to experience. I need to be thanking the Lord for that blessing and really giving it my all.

The past couple of days I've been wanting God to show me things in myself he wants to change, to discipline me. I think he has shown me this one, so now I just need to be faithful with that and get some studying done! :)